Love is Overrated

I think I have a gift, I can make men fall in love with me. After a single date and a long conversation, I become their fairytale. But I'm not a manipulative person, it all happens before I realize what I've done. What a wonderful... curse.

It's been over two months since I began to write this entry and everything has changed between Gino and I.

Gino's birthday came and went. I called him very early, sang happy birthday on his voicemail. Later when he called me back, he said he had no plans for the entire day and that his friends may be too busy to take him out for his birthday. I was delighted, I ran out and bought him a bottle of champagne and a bumpy cake for two. But he never called me back, so I ate his cake and drank his champagne. When he did call, he fed me some bullshit about not wanting the spotlight on him and that he ended up staying home, alone.

A few weeks later, I ended all the madness. Somewhere between our power struggles and his inability to communicate, I gave up. A month ago I sent him a text saying "I don't think this is going to work out, it's been fun." Then I realized what a coward I was and how pissed off I would be if someone did the same to me. So I called him up and apologized profusely.

Things were never quite the same after that, he dove into his "work" and I began to hit the nightclubs frequently. I ran into an acquaintance of his at one of these clubs. I got the feeling he wanted to date me simply because I was dating Gino. So we went out for a nice dinner, he took me shopping and hasn't called me for three weeks, which does not concern me. The man cried the last time I saw him, I imagine he has a lot of "personal" issues.

Anyway I've continued dating, and I'm having a ball. I'm through with longing for someone whose heart is fenced and wired. My love/lust for Gino was never going to be reciprocated, and I finally realized that. His work was his love.
My theory on my attraction to Gino is this; It was refreshing for me to encounter someone that wasn't completely enthralled by me, at first it was a challenge I gladly accepted. But it quickly turned into intense desire, because it is human nature to want what one cannot have. Then it turned into resentment because the things I did for him and my presence in general was not being appreciated. And finally, apathy. But still I'm a hopeful person, if he called me I would maintain a cordial tone.
It's been weeks since I devoted this much thought to him.

I feel a fresh start has opened up its arms to me, I've started a new job and moved to a new house.

I've also been propositioned by a man I work with. It began at the end of a business day, the coworkers and I went out for a drink, which quickly turned into 8. Only one of us drove, so at the end of the night(4 a.m.) the rest of us were dropped back at the office lot where our cars awaited. This man and I went back into the office, I'm not sure what for, I wasn't lucid at the time. Before I could blink, he told me he was willing to pay me $5,000 to fuck him. Taken aback, I blushed a bit and said
"My my, is this how you approach women? This is insulting."
"$10,000" he said.
I proceeded to rebuke him for attempting to solicit me. His offer hit $20,000.
Then I consented.
After a little sucking and fucking, I asked him if his offer was for real. He said he would take care of me completely, as long as I promised to be his, and his alone.

"So are you mine?" He asked.
"I'm yours."

He's not just any man, he's my boss.