So I’m up at 3 in the morning reflecting on the recent choices I’ve made regarding men. Something shocking came to me out of absolutely nowhere, maybe Michael was my greatest love? When I truly think about it I’ve been after material gain for 5+ years, the sugardaddy search is about acquiring things and living comfortably. And I have. I’ve received property as gifts, and cars and jewelry but receiving luxuries in exchange for sex has left me feeling quite jaded and distrustful of men. I’ve embarked on shallow relationships that padded my self worth but left my heart aching.
Michael was someone I could talk to about anything, he was like family. I’ve since moved from the hometown I grew up in but the last time I visited we made plans to get together at a familiar haunt of ours. One of the last posh lounges left standing post-recession.
We caught up, he was single but I was still seeing The Asshole of the Century. It felt just like old times, but he had packed on some pounds and I’ve never been drawn to pudgy. It was getting late, me too tipsy to drive and his place, conveniently walking distance. He offered his couch to crash on, and I obliged. But when we arrived he got uncomfortably close and dove in for a kiss even after I’d swatted him off. Eventually he gave up, passed out in his room with his dog, but not without a true-hearted confession, “Tiff, I have never felt the way I do with you with any other girl… I compare all of them to you.” The timing threw me off but upon reflection I must admit I feel exactly the same way…
After that night he dodged my calls and I haven’t spoken to him since. Being immersed in the drama of my life as of late, I haven’t given him a second though till now. I’ve decided to reach out to him again and re-spark our friendship, see where it goes, who knows? Maybe he truly is the love of my life.
5 comments:
I hear you! On my side I have a similar tale (tail) : ) I have / had / whatever / a lovely sugar baby, and come what may we always seem to "gravitate" back towards each other, regardless of the reasons we seem to drift apart...
Maybe its an addiction we have for each other! : )
a sweet addiction / distraction...
It's so lovely to hear about Michael. Sugar dating can leave one somewhat of a cynic when it comes to relationships.. and people in general. Would you be able to give it all up for him, though? Can't wait to hear more.
Omg Tiff where have you been!! Months and months I look forward to your posts..and this is all you give me? We need more from you.. please find the time and in your heart to blog more often =) I really enjoy your blog a lot.
P.S. I do hope you are able to find the love of your life. Find someone who you can be yourself around and feel 100% secure, he must love you for who you are and not what you own. And you must do the same to him. That's love hun. Goodluck!!
I know!! I'm totally avoiding writing a full update but it's coming! I have so many entries in the draft stage, bringing you up to date is a daunting task.
Tiffany, I have enjoyed your postings; you strike me as insightful,intelligent and sensitive. I hope that you are in the process of writing these experiences into a book.You write very well and very honestly. It is unfortunate that the summation of your SD/SB experience is only material and transactional. I am sure if you give it further thought, you will realize that perhaps you have cared and SD's have cared for you, that you may have learned many not so bad things about the world. In the end how much you take also depends on how much you give. Sorry, things didn't turn out otherwise with Michael, but the story is not over, with Michael or the future Michael. Best of luck and keep writing and sharing with us.
D.
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