Sunday, February 20, 2005

"Candy" by Mian Mian

On a lighter note, I've just finished reading "Candy" by Mian Mian. An excellent book for anybody who enjoys unpretentious real literature, very refreshing. Here's an excerpt that hit close to home for me and my experiences with big city nightlife:
"When the music is empty enough that I can put myself inside it, taking it in on every level, and the air is charged with electricity, I can achieve a dream state, and like a dream, there are no words to describe it. The music is moving me; I don't need to move on my own. Sometimes the moon appears in the room, bringing this news: all the news that terrifies me to the depths of my soul, all the people who make me their clown. We will never be parted; we will always be this perfect, this complete....
I like clubs best in the early morning because all of the boring people have gone and only the truly boring people are still there. Chinese and laowai, phony artists and real ones, prostitutes, local slackers, dumb-ass white-collar types. It doesn't matter who they are; it's too late, and none of the men are likely to pick up a woman, and none of the women are likely to pick up a guy. Nobody is going to pick anybody up; they're all fucked. A few cold rays of early-morning light pierces the room, and we sway inside the music. Everyone has a language that belongs to his own body. After-hours is the most real time of all."

Dirty Fingernails

I am in love with a man I have known for two and a half weeks. He is tall, beautiful and an incredible kisser. I can't stop thinking about him. Gino owns a restaurant, he's 6'3 and an ex professional baseball player. The first time we met, we spent the entire weekend alone and cuddled. Since then, I have had more contact with him and more of a understanding of who he is. He is so considerate, compassionate and caring. When we're together, money is the furthest thing from my mind, it just feels so right. I can see myself with this man for a long time and I think he feels the same about me. But I've only known the guy for two weeks so I'm trying to take it as slow as my over complicated psyche will allow..

A friend told me
"If you find someone you're passionate about and you can accept their faults then that's love."

BIG NEWS, I got another job! One that I actually enjoy and pays better than most of the jobs I've had. A big plus is that I come in contact with well to do men on a daily basis and it is in a industry that I hope to master.
I went out with Emir sometime ago, before Gino. We met at a mutually convenient location, a gas station. It was a Sunday night so we had very few options to choose from but finally settled on a local nightclub. As the night progressed, certain things about him rubbed me the wrong way, primarily his sleazy part french part Italian accent and the way my name rolled sloppily off his tongue. After the bar we went to a hole in the wall restaurant to sober up before heading home and during our late night snack I glanced at his hands and blanched. There was a layer of black dirt under his fingernails! I immediately lost my appetite; I looked at my watch and suggested we get going. Once he dropped me off at my car, I sped off in the opposite direction and have been ignoring his calls since.