Tuesday, March 28, 2006

La Dee Da

Tess came to visit me at my new place since I did her the same favor. She came in on a Thursday so we had spa visits and lunched until the weekend hit. On Saturday we went club hopping. We started off at an urban bar then hit up a couple of posh spots, at which we were introduced to the owners, finally we ended up at Gino's restaurant.
It was not my intention to go there, in fact I made an effort to avoid it but a mutual friend was having a bash there afterhours and it simply could not be avoided.
Since it was very late in the morning I figured we would not run into him, he's not a big fan of the partying crowd.
We sashayed in, straight to the bathroom for some girl talk, then to my friend Evan's table, who was throwing the party. Sure the bar was closed to the public, but we got a bottle of champagne once we sat down.
The door opens, and as I glance at it, Gino walks in and catches my glimpse. He smiles and makes a beeline towards us. "Oh, God" I cringed inwardly.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight." I said.
"Fine, then I'll leave" he said.
He must have heard the not so great things I've said about him.
"No don't, sit with us, how have you been? Have you met Tess?"

Of course he had, Tess' friend Rob introduced me to Gino over a year ago.
During the course of our conversation and mingling I got completely smashed.
Someone suggested we have a threesome, Tess, Gino and I.
But since Tess had a thing for Gino's best friend, I suggested we invite him; to curb the awkwardness of a threesome with an ex who I kind of despise.

We went to another afterhours venue and then Gino's house. He was probably expecting a full on orgy but I got sick in his bathroom. Once I recovered, we all sat down and had an intelligent conversation regarding race relations in the U.S., conspiracy theories and the direction of our careers. All in all, a great night/morning and in my book great conversation comes second to none. At around 8am I laid next to Gino and took a nap, only to be woken up by Tess two hours later, demanding we leave.
Once I got up to leave Gino pulled on my hand beckoning me to stay with him and put my other hand on his dick.
"Darling I would love to" I said, "but I really have to go".
With that, I bounded down the stairs to meet Tess at the car. We then drove back to may place, split a bottle of wine and went to bed for the entire day.

The torture started again, countless thoughts of Gino kept running through my mind, I had to have him. After working with a friend who casually mentioned him, I yearned to feel his body against mine. So I called him, actually I texted him. And he texted back. For the next 20 minutes a text-conversation ensued. I told him I wanted to fuck him. To which he replied that he would like to get sucked but not fucked. Feeling utterly rejected I turned my car around (I was headed towards his restaurant). I explained to him that I couldn't give him what he wanted because I was horny too. Then laid in bed and fell into a restless sex-deprived slumber.
It was just going to be sex. I don't want anything else from him.
My every material want has been satisfied and I could always call Michael for a genuine emotional connection, but Gino, I just wanted to have for one night and that was it.

Tess is indeed a high-end escort and has asked me to work with her on a part time basis. She comes from a lower middle class family, we met at a nightclub four years ago and have been friends ever since. The girl seems to think in order to get anything substantial from a man, she needs to give all of herself. This simply isn't so. So she has no standard of man she's trying to attract, she never says no and has all the crass habits she grew up with hindering her. Which becomes the end result of a very pretty girl with no class. Stripper material. Sometimes I just want to scream at her; RESPECT YOURSELF, OTHERWISE NO ONE ELSE WILL!
Last week I told her I wouldn't mind doing duos with her as long as I got to pick the client, structure the rate and the deal. She agreed. This can't be worse than searching for a sugar daddy. Besides, if our "work" is anything like the weekend at Earl's, I'll love it.

It is a possibility that MM may be falling for me. I know... completely utterly insane but true. The last time he was over, he inquired about my past relationships, asking how many men I've been with and other very third date questions. I told him what he wanted to hear.
He had mentioned introducing me to his family a while back, but this evening he specifically mentioned that he would set me up for an introduction with his Mother. Inside was a feeling half disbelief half sheer terror, but outwardly nonchalantly cool. If he was serious I'm sure I could handle meeting his Mother. But outside of the perfect arrangement we now have, I dare not drift. Deviating would make this a full blown relationship which I DO NOT wish to have. I will attempt to put a stop put to this madness.

PS: For those who inquired, I would not mind a bit if I was his wife and he "cheated" on me, I would like to know about it but I wouldn't discourage it, we all need variety every now and then. I plan to be a swinger when I'm married anyway, monogamy has never worked for me.

Monday, March 20, 2006


They want women who are submissive to them in public. Women who make them look good and would never "bad mouth" or "talk back" within earshot of anyone
But when no one is looking... they want a woman to string them up by the neck and use them. Completely. Till there's nothing left.

They want a woman to turn them inside out sexually and emotionally. I can't count the number of times a man has asked me to "get rough" with him. And I've obliged. The scratch marks, bite indentations and bruises I've left are testament to my brutality.

I love control.

And I do suppose life is a series of power struggles. You could give into "fate" or "destiny" and choose not to struggle.
But what fun is that?
Without the illusion of control in most situations, life would not be worth living.

Is that truly what differentiates man from all species? Our desire to control everything around us.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Good Times

The trip was a whirlwind of deviances..
We took a cab to her condo, secluded amongst the dewy tropical brush. The night was warm and moist, beads of moisture formed on every exposed surface of my skin. If it weren't for the cool breeze blowing in from the beach, I would have drowned in my own fluids.
Tess, undeterred by the liquid air, jumped out of the cab once it stopped.
"We're here!" she exclaimed.
In all my 22 years of living, I've never known anyone who could drag the last bit of energy out of you like Tess can.
"A friend of mine is picking us up in a sec, he's bringing a cute guy with him too, you ready?" She asked.
I took that as my cue to freshen up and throw on a hot outfit.

The bar we went to was unimpressive, it reminded me of the dive bars at home. One of the boys(hardly cute and much too young) offered to buy me a drink. I responded as politely as I could, "Thank you for the offer but I don't drink liqour out of plastic cups."
We left the grungy college bar, ditching our dates and flagging down a cab.

We arrived at the doorstep of a testament to architecture, a structure composed mostly of glass and partially in commercial grade cement. The owner of the home, Earl, paid our cabfare and showed us around his humble abode. It sat directly on the beach with a wrap around pool hugging it.
He offered us an ecstasy pill.
We obliged.
Then we sat in the jacuzzi, drinking champagne and waiting for our roll to kick in.
And it did.
He slid me onto his lap and began to finger me slowly at first then harder, jamming his hand against my body until I came. Hard. While starring at Tess playing with her nipples and moaning softly.
Then we went upstairs to seek out softer padding suitable for a party of three. Later on in the evening, he invited another girl-friend to join us.
Earl was an investment banker who spent most of his time in Europe. At 5'8 with a stocky build and receeding hairline, his looks were not what kept the pretty girls knocking on his door. It was the drugs and money, which he tactfully placed in our purses before we left his place 48 hours later. Of course he paid for it, in full.

I haven't seen MM in a few weeks, but that is the norm. These long periods apart make it easier to bear his company.
I do not want to fall in love.

If I start comparing other men to him or getting lost in thoughts about him, I would certainly cut things off (after locating come other means of financial support, of course). The problem is we have great chemistry, the kind that cannot be faked and I could fuck him all day long if given the opportunity. I feel there is a reason we met. The reason itself is still unclear to me, but it will show itself in due time - like all things do.

He comes back into town a week from now, and I am eagerly anticipating the visit.
All these feelings are very real to me but I have questioned the source. Meaning, if money was not a factor would I still be with him? It's a complicated question.

I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I can't get everything I need from one man, I will leave him and find someone better suited for me. So back to the question. I would certainly date him, even consider him a potential life mate; If he was as successful as he is now.
If he were Joe Schmoe with only a bachelors degree from some mediocre college and lofty dreams, I would pass. But who can say for certain, what would or could have been? When all is said and done, a big heart is much more important to me than a big wallet.

How do I feel about his wife?

I am the temporary girlfriend.
The provider of pleasure, the source of lustful desire.
I wait patiently for his phone call. And we get together, make a passionate exchange then move on. Until the next sexcapade.

I do not expect this to last and that is fine.
As an intense commitment-phobe, uncertainty has been the downfall of my relationships; not knowing where it would go. The uncertainty of it all jarred my nerves, causing me to drop my suitor instantly. At least then I know where it would all go. Nowhere. I caused the end.

This isn't supposed to last, his marriage on the other hand, is.
Our time together is his escape from the pressures, obligations and overwhelming demands of his job and wife. I'm happy to supply that.. for the right price.

I'm always ready for the end. I wasn't promised stability.
I save up and am currently looking for a backup Sugar Daddy for additional security.
Because I have none.
There you have it, I'm not so much different from a call girl.