Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fast Forward

If someone would have told me this sugar baby saga would last more than 4 years, I would have shrieked and called them a liar. But here we are, almost half a decade since my first post and the quest for a wealthy man is still a theme in my life.
At this point in time I've been with my current lover/sugar daddy/boyfriend for almost two years. We've discussed all the particulars that any two people in a serious relationship would discuss; babies, marriage, the future. We are quite comfortable. He has taken very good care of me financially with a monthly allowance, expensive gifts, trips and shopping. Until recently...
I will not delve deeply into this subject but as of late, he has not had the means to pacify me. This puts me in an awkward position.

I know I need help, particularly because of a new venture I have decided to undertake. I feel I must seek intellectual, financial and even perhaps emotional support elsewhere. The hunt has once more beckoned me. The sweet thrill of the chase, the uncertainty and even the shady individuals. I suppose one could say I actually miss it, the sugar daddy hunt.
There have been many a time in the last two years I encountered a fellow with the means to be my "patron," but I would throw away their business card or give them the wrong number because love always prevails. Right?

I'm not so sure at the moment. I think love is fickle, it comes and goes as it pleases. When I'm in his arms, in the throes of passion I surrender completely. I let his love seep to the core of me where it coats my insides and I am at peace.
Because we don't see each other regularly this love starts to dissipate, I forget what he looks like, begin to miss him and then resent him for making me miss him. It is madness.
In recent days I've yearned to experience independence such as I felt while with MM. Support without love involved. Perhaps all this love is exhausting and I just want to breathe and be me again without being tied to him.

Or perhaps it's just stress and this restless feeling too will fade with time. I hope that is the case because life without him would be washed out and boring. But in order to entertain myself, I shall keep my eyes open and reintroduce myself to the more formal ways of finding a sugar daddy.

Freestyling: Going to upscale establishments (gyms, restaurants, coffee shops) and events (fundraisers, art shows, sporting events) in order to meet a successful gentleman.

Online dating: Creating personal profiles online that include flattering pictures and detail what you're looking for.

Traditional personals: Creating newspaper/online based text ads that briefly describe you and the type of relationship you're looking for.

Stay tuned.