Wannabe Sugarbaby

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Q & A - The Subject of Money

ANON SUGARBABY:
I found your blog and it's really amusing even exciting reading.
I recently joined a seeking arrangement site but being next to this type of arrangement I have no idea how to start talking /discussing the financial help you might expect.
I always think it makes you seem like a gold digger or so which I am not cause I have my own business and take care of myself now.
but you can always use some more right?!
it seems that once men start talking to you, you end up chatting and they want to meet you but there is no word about making any agreement.....
I met a wealthy men last weekend who I liked and he likes me but spending the night he pushed himself to much on me en we ended up having sex which was totally not what I wanted to do, I could relate to your story with the geisha lady.anyway there was no talk about an agreement
I was all messed up.I don't know...

I you might have some advice for me that would be great.

TIFF:
That's a very good question. There's no perfect/easy way to bring up the topic of money, but if that's what you need then you must state that.

First off, try to get a feel for how generous he will be by the places he takes you to and how well he tips. Next make sure you're into him and he's into you, take your time here, go on a few dates if you need to. Finally when you feel the time his right (basically you both click and he wants you sexually) bring up the topic by saying he's wonderful and you like him a lot but you have certain needs as well. When he asks the you about your needs, let him know you don't want to come off a certain way (gold digger, etc) but you could use some financial help.

If he's not experienced with being a sugar daddy ask him for help with big ticket items like rent, tuition, etc. Then see what he says and go from there. You never know, he might have had an arrangement in the past and might even suggest it. If he's not interested then move on, if he is you've got your daddy. Do NOT ever get drunk and become unable to control yourself. A lot of these older gentlemen are very well versed in the art of seduction and you will be seduced if you let it happen. Meet in public, do not go to his place after dinner even if he has some fabulous antique he wants you to see, that is bait. You can kiss and fool around, but NO sex (oral included) until he begins to help you. Capice?

Hope this helps,
Tiff

PS: You haven't really messed up with your guy unless he's some player on the prowl. You were drunk and he took advantage of that but don't let it happen again, still inform him of your needs during a romantic dinner and see what he says. Even if he says he will help, do not go back to his place unless he has handed you some "help" during dinner. It's all about action not words.

ANON SUGARBABY:
thanks for this information it is a good guideline on how to phrase your needs.
I met also another man who lives in my country, busy businessmen blalbla and I have the view that because they have met you on such a dating site that it seems to be ok to just sleep with you at once instead of going into the normal dating routine but of course they wouldn't want to date a prostitute.
Luckily this man immediately was open for an arrangement and I walked out with a nice envelop....will see him again also.

For the other man, I think we are slowly getting there, he is very sexual so most of the conversations on the phone are about sex but I made it clear that I don't want to be the one just giving the best of me and not getting anything in return so that leaded to the big arrangement question.
then he asked me if I had a budget in mind???how to say that??I could say a certain amount while he had more in his mind or less, so I could lose out some extra cash....
I was planning to say when he asks again what do you think I am worth to you? Is that a good idea?
pfff this dating is difficult but I think when you have a few established relationships it can be great!!

TIFF:
Don't say "what am I worth to you," you need to tell him what you think you're worth. In my opinion, you should ask for an amount that covers all your monthly bills, including rent and leaves you with enough cash for two spa trips. If he can't afford it he will let you know that and you can go from there.

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posted by Tiff @ 7:46 PM | 6 comments

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fast Forward

If someone would have told me this sugar baby saga would last more than 4 years, I would have shrieked and called them a liar. But here we are, almost half a decade since my first post and the quest for a wealthy man is still a theme in my life.
At this point in time I've been with my current lover/sugar daddy/boyfriend for almost two years. We've discussed all the particulars that any two people in a serious relationship would discuss; babies, marriage, the future. We are quite comfortable. He has taken very good care of me financially with a monthly allowance, expensive gifts, trips and shopping. Until recently...
I will not delve deeply into this subject but as of late, he has not had the means to pacify me. This puts me in an awkward position.

I know I need help, particularly because of a new venture I have decided to undertake. I feel I must seek intellectual, financial and even perhaps emotional support elsewhere. The hunt has once more beckoned me. The sweet thrill of the chase, the uncertainty and even the shady individuals. I suppose one could say I actually miss it, the sugar daddy hunt.
There have been many a time in the last two years I encountered a fellow with the means to be my "patron," but I would throw away their business card or give them the wrong number because love always prevails. Right?

I'm not so sure at the moment. I think love is fickle, it comes and goes as it pleases. When I'm in his arms, in the throes of passion I surrender completely. I let his love seep to the core of me where it coats my insides and I am at peace.
Because we don't see each other regularly this love starts to dissipate, I forget what he looks like, begin to miss him and then resent him for making me miss him. It is madness.
In recent days I've yearned to experience independence such as I felt while with MM. Support without love involved. Perhaps all this love is exhausting and I just want to breathe and be me again without being tied to him.

Or perhaps it's just stress and this restless feeling too will fade with time. I hope that is the case because life without him would be washed out and boring. But in order to entertain myself, I shall keep my eyes open and reintroduce myself to the more formal ways of finding a sugar daddy.

Freestyling: Going to upscale establishments (gyms, restaurants, coffee shops) and events (fundraisers, art shows, sporting events) in order to meet a successful gentleman.

Online dating: Creating personal profiles online that include flattering pictures and detail what you're looking for.

Traditional personals: Creating newspaper/online based text ads that briefly describe you and the type of relationship you're looking for.

Stay tuned.

posted by Tiff @ 2:10 PM | 2 comments

Monday, May 12, 2008

Upon receiving (and publishing) an abundance of... interesting comments, I've decided to dust off a few unpublished posts. The following was written early last summer. Enjoy :)

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A man whom I am not at all into is on his way over.
He's well traveled, polite and generous but other traits of his turn me off. We've known each other for quite some time but only recently has he been honest about his "true feelings." He told me he's fancied me, for as long as we've known one another.

After dating another man whose success I admired but personality I tolerated, I refuse to do it again. Though he is accomplished, I don't feel a thing for him sexually. Thank god for the 20th century. In another era I may have been persuaded to consider him as a potential spouse!

Under normal circumstances I would take his profession of lust-love as a delusion and laugh it off. But it's different this time. He's my sister's ex boyfriend. One she has dated casually but nevertheless an ex. Is this off-limits territory, or am I allowed to indulge regardless of his close relationship with my sibling?
It makes me uncomfortable.
I cant help thinking of her lips on him when I kiss him, and he's a skilled kisser.
Can you imagine the distraction?
I think since my attraction to him is quite minimal and taking the discretions listed above into account, I shall move on. But first inform him of the reasons for my dismissal so as to avoid hurt feeling and burning bridges in the process.

posted by Tiff @ 2:12 PM | 2 comments

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Oh my

It has been over six months since I last blogged. What was once so comforting seems strange and unfamiliar now, even the blogger layout has changed!
I will try to catch up, starting from the oldest memories to the newest :)

I'm happy to be back.

posted by Tiff @ 4:45 PM | 7 comments

Friday, June 22, 2007

I Can't Believe it's June!

I'm such a procrastinator! I bought a self-help book on procrastination months ago and still haven't read it. Anyway, I've been meaning to write, I really have, mostly because I miss writing this blog dearly. A lot has happened...

I've learned so much about myself from these men who made appearances in my life. And I don't have any sad feelings or regrets when I think about them.

And I thank you too for being part of my journey. No one tells you what it's like to grow up.. the hurt and the pain, building a life independent of your parents. Finding friends, a family of your own choosing.

The affair with MM ended months before our actual conclusion.
I was ready to let go completely.
I found myself getting annoyed with little things that he did. Little things that I thought were adorable when we first met, I began to loathe. I never loved him, but as soon as the lust began to wear off, so did my enthusiasm.
Our last night together he touched my breast and I barked back "I'm not in the mood right now!" He made several more attempts to reignite what we once had.

MM was easy to let go of... because I never really loved him.
It was an "arrangement of convenience" in the purest terms of the phrase.
Along the way we both got lost.
I wanted security and marriage.
He wanted exclusivity and stability.
In fact I think he went as far as drawing up a prenuptial agreement with his legal council.
I loved the idea of him with me.
The sugardaddy and sugarbaby, legally bound and satisfied with each other.

But then what?
My ever beating heart lacked the passion that fueled it.
I would never be happy with MM. Only satisfied.
So I began to withdraw, his control issues and ED made it easy.
I began to see him as an old man with insecurities more severe and unchangeable than mine.
And it was sad.

He asked me if a was seeing someone else, as I was never in the mood to fuck him anymore.
Well, the answer was yes, I was seeing other people... but being fully conscious of his emotional attachment to me, I only confessed to one.
"I must admit" I replied reluctantly, "I am seeing someone else."

Then a hidden side of him to which I had not yet been exposed to revealed itself.
"WHAT??" he bellowed, "I've asked you this before and the answer was always no, how long has this been going on??"
"About two months" I replied, quickly adding "but we haven't had sex yet."
"I don't believe you, knowing how high your libido is, I find it hard to believe you've abstained from sex for the last two months."
And he was right, I couldn't go that long without sex. But after having incredible fuck sessions with a certain man, I realized how awful MM was in bed.

For most of our relationship, I rejected any propositions that came my way.
Feeling it was only fair to reserve my carnal desires for him and only him.
It worked well for a while. Though he was easily pacified, sex with him was like being fondled by a teenager in the backseat of a car.
As time went on, my allowance decreased. He seemed to take for granted my presence in his life. My intuitive response was to withdraw emotionally and physically.
So I bid adieu to MM soon to be DM (Divorced Man).

posted by Tiff @ 10:46 AM | 5 comments

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Cynic

"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde

Napoleon.
He was short with blonde hair and blue eyes.
I made the mistake of assuming he was generous, because he bought me a ticket to a fundraiser without knowing my name.
Little did I know, he loves the thrill of meeting a stranger.
I met him on a popular sex site, from what I heard it was bursting with potential sugar daddies and I was itching to try it out.
He was my first date.
He didn't think I would show up.
I wore a flimsy demure top with no bra and little jewelry.
He wore a custom fitted suit, the price of which I knew before our first date.
The first indicator.

I wasn't attracted to him at first as I prefer tall men.
But as the evening prolonged he became more attractive by the second.
He was articulate, intelligent and yes attractive in the conventional sense.
We went for drinks at a swanky cigar bar after the fundraiser, during which I made no mention of my financial needs. I had decided before hand that tonight was about getting to know the man not his wallet. My need for financial aid was minimal at the time therefore chemistry was of the utmost importance.
During our conversations prior to meeting he had dropped varying prices. The cost of his suit, the price of his maid service and other items he had managed to attain at a steal.
Indicative of a cynic.
He seemed controlling but I'm not quick to judge, I wanted to give him a chance to prove me wrong though my instincts are usually dead on and I trust them completely. Besides, he was extremely sensual I wanted to see how good he was in bed.

The night ended and we parted ways with a kiss on the cheek to keep him wanting more.

Round two
We met at a popular restaurant.
Despite a reservation and it being a weekday we waited for a table.
Napoleon announced he would order for us "if I didn't mind" before cracking open the menu, no wonder he was single. Rarely have I met a man more controlling than this. Yet I indulged him, and observed even closer. I could sense he had the dying need to make all decisions, but held himself in check. Afterall, he needed to impress me to have any chance of getting in my pants that night.
So we had shared an appetizer he preferred and an entree as well. Luckily I wasn't particularly hungry and feigned enthusiasm upon tasting each dish (they certainly would not have been my choice). He offered to get me something else then made an excuse for why each dish I suggested was unacceptable.
Dinner was quick.
He then suggested a martini bar in my neck of the woods.
Always a step ahead, I knew he thought he might get lucky as I did meet him on a sex site.

Althought I felt we had different goals in mind, I consented to a drink or two at the martini bar.
We had fun, as I usually do once the infamous social lubricator is introduced to my system.

We laughed, we danced, we had some things in common.
It was now or never.
"Do you recall the title of my profile?" I asked.
Knowing full well it was "Sugarbaby of your dreams."
He said he did.
I asked "Have you ever had the sort of relationship I'm seeking?"
"Well.." He paused "What do you mean?"
He was playing dumb and I played right along.
"A sugarbaby is spoiled and pampered by her sugardaddy, it is a relationship of mutual benefications" I replied.
Quickly adding, my sugardaddies in the past have been extremely generous with "$XXX per month"
He looked away and the caressing stopped. I could tell he was uncomfortable and trying to think of something to say.
"I'm not particularly in need of that sort of arrangement" He replied with a pained expression. "I don't have to pay for women to be with me."
I wasn't surprised by his reaction and quickly came to my own defense "This is not a transaction of any kind, it's only that I do need some help of the financial persuasion in order to see you at leisure. Take as much time as you need to think about it and get back to me."
He said he would, but I was extremely doubtful.
We kissed deeply and parted ways once more.

I was not expecting his call, but I did receive a few texts from him.
His fantasy was for him and I to face a mirror and watch him enter me from behind. I replied with saucy texts for some time but eventually ignored the rest of his contrived enticements. It became clear to me that his idea of a "Sugarbaby" was a world apart from mine.

posted by Tiff @ 7:11 PM | 5 comments

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Current Events

He called me last weekend. Gino did.
My phone rang, and it was a number I thought I recognized.

"Hello"
"Hi... its Gino, I'm just calling to say hi."
Calling to say hi after two months? I thought.
I wondered if his call had anything to do with his friend Teddie who was helping me with a new start up business.
"Hello there, I wasn't expecting to ever hear from you..." I cautiously replied.
"Are you in one of your 'I hate Gino' moods" he asked in a teasing tone.
"I don't hate you I'm just kind of... indifferent towards you at this point." I had to put him in his place.
He was taken aback. "Wow, I was expecting you to be polite."
"I think I am being polite, just being honest."
I relented and had a polite conversation with Gino regarding his current events and mine.
Then he said he had to run off to watch the end of some game.
He concluded the same way he began, "I was just calling to say hi..."
"Hi back" I replied, and hung up.
I'm stumped as to why he could be calling me now, unless of course he misses me. How sweet.

Things with MM and I have hit a rough patch. He invited me and a friend to an event and the entire time he was trying to set her up with an acquaintance of his. I was under the impression that he wanted to get closer to me by meeting my friends. Instead, it seemed that was a ploy to round up fresh meat for his "good old buddy."
I felt uneasy and we left as soon as the event concluded.
After a day of ignoring his calls we finally spoke. It was a very typical fight, with me being passive aggressive and him refusing to apologize. He had to leave town shortly after and I won't be seeing him for a week or so.
I think we've had a good run and it's time for us both to move on. But right now would not be a good time to end things as I believe he is in need of my company. So, I'll plan on ending things early next year. In the meantime, I'll try to be more understanding and supportive to ensure things wrap up as neatly as possible.
The elusive virtue of patience has finally chosen me.

I called Michael because I missed him terribly and hated the way we ended. We'll be having coffee soon, I'm happy about that.

posted by Tiff @ 5:20 PM | 4 comments

So You Wannabe a Sugarbaby?

My Quest to become a rich man's barbie doll.

Tiffany

24 years old
USA

I love: Shopping
I hate: Working