Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Ballet

So you ask, what happened to Jeffrey?

We arrived early enough to have dinner nearby. Interestingly enough, he invited his uncle and several couples to keep us company. As if he was avoiding one on one time with me. During the ballet he was a bit awkward, something I did not expect in the least. Jeffrey has the reputation of Casanova. He is known for bedding hard to attain women. But based on his actions that evening I think his bark is much worse than his bite. After the ballet we spent time with mutual friends and it could have become one of his raging rockstar fests but I left before the the hammer dropped.

I haven't heard from him since the ballet but I am kept fully abreast, by mutual friends, of his escapades. I am also completely confident that he will reach out in due time because I'm that girl he's never had. Even though he's taking a back seat, he will always want what he can't have.

I sense that Jeffrey, although bright and powerful in his own way, has an inferiority complex, this moment of time in his life is about coveting and capturing beautiful things. Beautiful models with no personality, beautiful artwork with no story or past. He covets aesthetic artistic perfection. He embraces cliches that meet his standards. He expects the best and nothing contradicts his opinion.

There is no depth, no intrinsic je ne sais quoi quality that causes me to lose my breath.

Jeffrey is all about money, what everything looks like and what everything costs. It bores me terribly. I prefer captains of industry that take life on as a challenge. As a game. Men that think anything is possible and create their own reality with each step. I feel that is lacking from the "privileged" men I meet. Though I refer to myself as privileged, I have never had a trust. But I know people who don't know any other lifestyle and they are always miserable. It's very interesting, I don't think money makes life more fulfilling.

It forces you to shrink people and situations, count favors and tally debts until you feel you've been compensated. I now feel the more money you have the more concern you have for people taking it from you. What a waste of time. I'd much rather be full of life and adventure, be a trailblazer, making my own way, living life as I saw fit and bearing the brunt of it all than living a life of nickle and dimes, how about you?

Wednesday, December 09, 2009



I've recently registered for facebook, join me HERE.

I'm looking forward to interacting with all you babies, you can never have too many friends ;)

Off topic:
Hugh Hefner's "Girl's Next Door" is my most recent guilty pleasure. I can only imagine the sorts of treats these girls must get to indulge in, first class travel, new cars (in hugh's name of course), fabulous parties with celebrities. Though the perks are divine I do wonder how much their allowance is, do they even get one? One of the girls works for hugh as a scrap booker and makes "$10 an hour."  I'm sure.

Q & A - I'm Not Sexually Attracted to Him

I'm a graduate student with sights set on medical school (24y/o.) I'm seriously considering becoming a sugar and would appreciate any advice you would have. Especially dealing with sex. I'm probably not going to be passionately attracted to my SD (we've emailed a few times) and want to know if you've been in the same situation and how you've dealt with it.

He has also made it quite clear that he would like this to be more of a dating with extra goodies rather than a purely sexual relationship.

Also, while I love shopping, gifts, etc (which he is offering ) I would also like an allowance for the purpose of paying for medical school applications, paying off my car. . .boring stuff. Dorky I know, but I want to have fun and be practical.

Thoughts? Hugs, XXX

I completely understand your predicament.  I was in a long term relationship with a man who became sexually unappealing to me over time, I call him MM on my blog.  He was my first Daddy and in the beginning it was all new and exciting, but once the novelty wore off I began to loathe spending time with him.  I suggest you focus on what you like about him, this got me through a few difficult months.  Some don't mind being intimate with someone they're not into, they put on a show then forget about him as soon as he's gone.

I decided to end it eventually, the allowance and gifts weren't worth the unhappiness I felt.
I'm not sure what will work for you, but you won't know until you give it a shot.

About the gifts.  Since he's willing to spend a certain amount on items for you, why not ask him for a gift card?  He can pick one up at any mall or convenience store and you can spend it on whatever you wish.

Have you met him?  How do you know you won't be sexually attracted to him?  Attraction for women depends on much more than looks, things like humor, charm and chivalry turn us on.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

Good Luck,