Thursday, August 28, 2008

Q & A - The Subject of Money

ANON SUGARBABY:
I found your blog and it's really amusing even exciting reading.
I recently joined a seeking arrangement site but being next to this type of arrangement I have no idea how to start talking /discussing the financial help you might expect.
I always think it makes you seem like a gold digger or so which I am not cause I have my own business and take care of myself now.
but you can always use some more right?!
it seems that once men start talking to you, you end up chatting and they want to meet you but there is no word about making any agreement.....
I met a wealthy men last weekend who I liked and he likes me but spending the night he pushed himself to much on me en we ended up having sex which was totally not what I wanted to do, I could relate to your story with the geisha lady.anyway there was no talk about an agreement
I was all messed up.I don't know...

I you might have some advice for me that would be great.


TIFF:

That's a very good question. There's no perfect/easy way to bring up the topic of money, but if that's what you need then you must state that.

First off, try to get a feel for how generous he will be by the places he takes you to and how well he tips. Next make sure you're into him and he's into you, take your time here, go on a few dates if you need to. Finally when you feel the time is right (basically you both click and he wants you sexually) bring up the topic by saying he's wonderful and you like him a lot but you have certain needs as well. When he asks the you about your needs, let him know you don't want to come off a certain way (gold digger, etc) but you could use some financial help.

If he's not experienced with being a sugar daddy ask him for help with big ticket items like rent, tuition, etc. Then see what he says and go from there. You never know, he might have had an arrangement in the past and might even suggest it. If he's not interested then move on, if he is you've got your daddy. Do NOT ever get drunk and become unable to control yourself. A lot of these older gentlemen are very well versed in the art of seduction and you will be seduced if you let it happen. Meet in public, do not go to his place after dinner even if he has some fabulous antique he wants you to see, that is bait. You can kiss and fool around, but NO sex (oral included) until he begins to help you. Capice?

Hope this helps,
Tiff

PS: You haven't really messed up with your guy unless he's some player on the prowl. You were drunk and he took advantage of that but don't let it happen again, still inform him of your needs during a romantic dinner and see what he says. Even if he says he will help, do not go back to his place unless he has handed you some "help" during dinner. It's all about action not words.


ANON SUGARBABY:

thanks for this information it is a good guideline on how to phrase your needs.
I met also another man who lives in my country, busy businessmen blalbla and I have the view that because they have met you on such a dating site that it seems to be ok to just sleep with you at once instead of going into the normal dating routine but of course they wouldn't want to date a prostitute.
Luckily this man immediately was open for an arrangement and I walked out with a nice envelop....will see him again also.

For the other man, I think we are slowly getting there, he is very sexual so most of the conversations on the phone are about sex but I made it clear that I don't want to be the one just giving the best of me and not getting anything in return so that leaded to the big arrangement question.
then he asked me if I had a budget in mind???how to say that??I could say a certain amount while he had more in his mind or less, so I could lose out some extra cash....
I was planning to say when he asks again what do you think I am worth to you? Is that a good idea?
pfff this dating is difficult but I think when you have a few established relationships it can be great!!


TIFF:
Don't say "what am I worth to you," you need to tell him what you think you're worth. In my opinion, you should ask for an amount that covers all your monthly bills, including rent and leaves you with enough cash for two spa trips. If he can't afford it he will let you know that and you can go from there.

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

HI, I found your site looking information about how this deal works, I decided become a sugarbaby, I had the opportunity before but didnt accepted because of many taboos besides that I am from a conservative family. but I need it now, I need help with my bills and stuff, is difficult be independent, pay so many bills, i work so hard for a bit of money and this go so fast. the thing is that I would like some advices, I have already a career and Im working. I have 3 rich guys that are interested on me but how this works? I talk about the money?, I wait?, what I should do?

great blog,

regards from miami, Fl

G

Anonymous said...

I found your blog, i would like ask you some advices, I have 5 guys interested in be my sugardaddy, but how works, I talk about the money?
one already told me, he pay all my expenses, rent, studies, car, etc.

but I dont feel any atraction to the guy, is a old man.
then is the other one, whom is married and have 2 kids. almost 25 years more than me. but is kind of robert redford, so i feel atraction to this guy even when he is so older, besides is fashion, business man, but we still dont talk nothing about what I need.

the other guy is not bad looking, i mean is not a monster but is not atractive , is a average guy in a not happy married.

then is the problem that I was dating with a guy of my age but he dont give me any stability. and i need it. i have so many problems.
live alone is not easy. and my mom live with me, I have to work hard to pay all bills, and is not enough.

the others guys, I still dont meet them, just chat.
so what can i do?
besides i think this relationship (if the things works) have to be discreet coz of guys are married and are very important.
one of them (the guy that look like robert redford) have the company number one of Florida, is a famous guy, seems on newspaper and wall street journal.he saids he will be a good mentor and teacher for me. so I guess I have to check whom can make me more happy and give me all I want?...I guess

Anonymous said...

tonight I have a dinner with the robert redford guy.
tomorrow I have as lunch with the other guy.
finally I will know with whom and if we make a deal.

Anonymous said...

I went with the roberd redford guy, ok...people look at me in a bad way coz i am young and the guy pick up me in a maserati.

we went in a place talking. I know he likes me, in fact the guy was so excited thathe asked if i wanted go to a room with him. OF COURSE. i didnt do it. in the end the guy finished marturbating himself in a bathroon while I was watching him.

kind of rare man, he look at me and touch me all the time.

he is married. have 2 kids and is an important person...ha...but also a freak. well...we didnt stay in nothing.
after kisses, touch...and turn off a bit the stuff...BUT I didnt sleep with him, i just were teasing.
so i dont know what means this.
he said he want someone whom he can call and talk, that be passionate, sex, etc...
ah...and to spent maybe one or 2 times per week.
ok...I said but in exchange what you ofter to the other person?

he said...ah...dont talk like that, is not about money, is about have fun(yeah...right, if i want to have just fun , i can have it anytime I want)
so the guy no want a relationship, a person which whom spend time everyday either(which I think is good)

so he want someone whom can see in ocasions.
so what means that?

we didnt finish in nothing, no arragment...dont know if he is going to call me? or whatever...
we will see...

in the other hand, tomorrow i have a lunch with the other guy.
so we will see.
although the other guy is not so atractive but well, is not about that, right?

Anonymous said...

hi,

I joined sugardaddie.com and found many guys that ofter be my SD. the think is that one of them was kind of freak, rare...I had 2 dates with a old man, 22 years more than me. and it seems he is ok. for me, he already told me many times, he will make my life easy and blabla...my question is how I talk with him about the amount I need per month?

Im going to see him next week...
I still dont have sex with him and I dont think have it until he give me all I want...
so how I talk about it?
i just say it?
I dont know how...is the first time i make this but I want everything clear about my needs.

iddaa said...

very nice your blog..

Anonymous said...

please update.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Tiff-- I found this post very helpful. Last night I went on a first date with a potential sugar Daddy that I met on a site. We made plans to have dinner in the city and at the last minute, he was called into a meeting the next day in Greenwich (CT), and could not make it into the city that night. So without breaking our date, he had a car pick me up and drive me to where he was.

The driver told me it was the best restaurant in town. We had a lovely dinner and he tipped the maitre d very generously. He has multiple homes all over the country and is highly successful. I was courted very nicely and he made me feel very comfortable. The only thing is, during dinner he mentioned he recently split from a 10 yr relationship and that he's still healing, so he is not sure what he wants. He is 30 yrs older than me and I could tell he was a bit uncomfortable at first at the age difference, but as time went on I know he had a great evening with me and wants to see me again this week. I think he just needed to loosen up.

Anyway, my question is how should I continue to approach this? Take things slow and form a friendship with him before starting anything intimate? We discussed the issue of money and he said that after a few dates with someone and getting to know them, he is comfortable giving them financial support. I think he is naturally generous, but new at the direct approach of Sugar Daddy realtionships. How can I help him ease into it so i can start getting what I want?