Monday, March 01, 2010

Regs vs. Pots

Luigi (aka Mr. iPhone) is tall, with all his hair and a thick accent.  Because he’s foreign, about half of our time is spent with me teaching him the correct way to say certain words and phrases.  Oy vey, I never knew teaching was in my future.  It feels too much like work!  After spending a few hours with him, my brain is literally tired from playing English teacher and a nap is necessary.

On one hand Luigi has shown a lot of promise.  He’s a married man with children who are no longer at home and is seriously contemplating a divorce.  I think it would've already occurred if it wasn't for his children and the hefty divorce settlement wifey is entitled to.

Today between meeting for dinner and chatting on the phone, we spent 6 hours in communication.  It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it but at the end of the day, what is he offering, is he worth this amount of attention?  True, on the first date he gave me an iphone because I said I loved it and would like to get one.  And yes, we do meet at only the best restaurants.  But I’m eager for an allowance to be a topic of conversation.  The Sugar Lifestyle has spoiled me; I expect allowances to be discussed on the first date and cash in my hand as a show of good intent.

Unfortunately, I met him on a regular dating site, despite his married status.  Being direct about an allowance will do me no good, it might even scare him.  In the past 4 years while he and his wife haven’t been intimate he has taken care of her and his children because they are his responsibilities.  He’s looking for a girlfriend, so I have faith he will take good care of me as he has done with them.

Luigi is rich.  He comes from a very wealthy family and has a penchant for beautiful things.  Luckily, unlike Jeffrey, he places a high value on substance as well.  I think I need to be a bit patient with this one.  I’ll give him a month and if I don’t see any improvement in the form of gifts and an allowance, I will introduce the allowance conversation myself.


A popular question is and always will be, how do you ask for help?
I’m not shy, I continuously throw out hints of things I need or places I would like to visit.
Since Luigi is a reg (regular guy from a regular dating site) and not a pot (potential sugardaddy from a sugardaddy site).  The conversations are slightly different.  In the beginning we date like any other couple.  We dine at fine restaurants, spend quality time, get to know each other well and figure out where we fit in each other’s lives.

While we’re dating, I’ll throw out comments to gauge his ability to respond to my needs;

“My car is in the shop, and I have no idea how to pay for it.”

“I love XXX in the summertime, there’s nothing like skinny dipping in the ocean.”

“I’ve always wanted XXX, but could never afford it.”

If he responds positively by getting me what I need, then he gets to stick around.  As with the sugar daddies, no sex until I begin to receive some sort of help.  I think of it as breaking him in.

Your interest can’t be his money alone, otherwise he will feel used.  I am truly in the market for a boyfriend and potentially a husband.  Relationships take time to grow, especially without the mutually beneficial protocols of a SD/SB relationship.

:End of Sidebar:

As I get older I’m starting to see the power of being a woman.  I’m not afraid to get up and walk away from someone who is clearly not deserving of my time.

We are in charge; most of us just don’t know it yet.  A beautiful woman can get a man to eat out of her __________. You fill in the blank.  If we can do that, getting him to buy a Vuitton or pay rent is nothing.  The trick is to always date men with money.  And the ultimate goal is to marry a man with loads of it, whose parents have even more!  Happy hunting ladies.


? said...

I have to comment as its almost like those words came straight out of my mind and onto you blog!

I agree, I agree, I agree. I am also in the market for a boyfriend/huband eventually. And along the way a sugar daddy can fill the gaps. I date men with money exclusively, and I think this is the best way to go about it :)

I also have a similar situation with Mr Perfect. Its more a regular dating situation where I know, and he has made clear, I would be very very well looked after if we were to get together. No sex until he gets more serious, infact I havent even kissed him!
Fabulous post! x

Eden said...

Great to see a post from you. It's been a while :-)

You are right i.e. the power a female holds. I think a lot of women lose sight of this, especially in times of desperation. Men with money were smart to get there in the first place, so to get their attention, you have to be smart too in order to show them that you have something they not only want, but need. Simply having a pretty face doesn't cut it - too many of those about. It's about having the edge. Harnessing the power within, as I like to call it.

I hope Luigi shows promise for you. A little patience never never know how it may turn out after all :-)

Gorgeous Danni said...

I enjoy reading about your "quest," especially since I am on the same path.

You are correct about the allowance subject. They are great, and it is better to have an understanding, but like you pointed out something’s are better left unsaid. Just as we are assessing men, they are assessing us and it is better for us to be patient (and hold out) then to cut our nose to spite our face.

Love, love ,love, your blog.


Babydoll said...

I love the blog. I too have been internet dating and thought I had found a wonderful thing when I found I found what seems like a perfect match for me, cute, married with children, and rich, but the problem comes in with the money issue. I started seeing him and we never discussed money, we have talked about everything else! I have never been very good at asking men for things (money) so when I found I thought Great I dont have to ask, they already know why I'm on the site and are ready to cough up some money, but this guy being as perfect as he has been had not bought or paid for anything. I did a very stupid thing and started sleeping with him before talking about money or benefits. Now, I would like to continue with him but how do I fix this? It's been over a month of seeing each other several times a week, texting and talking everyday! I What DO I DO NOW?

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